One of the thoughts that I push aside most often is how Lily’s relationships will change as her friends get older. We just spent a wonderful weekend away with some friends and one of my favourite parts was watching their son interact with Lily. He has loved her since the minute she entered our lives and while so far that hasn’t changed, I’m already bracing my heart for when it does. It’s not that I think he’ll stop loving her, but simply that he will fully outgrow her. Right now, she’s still kind of fun – she does things that make him laugh and he loves interpreting her actions for us: “look, she’s pulling on me for a hug” or, “look she’s snuggling with me”, but eventually kids prefer spending time with people their own age who can fully interact with them. 
It has started to some degree – questions about when will Lily really start to talk, or a huge interest in when we will adopt another kid, one who can be his best friend. Right now their relationship is so magical to me, just like Lily’s relationship with her cousins, that it’s though I’ve already prepared myself for the other shoe to drop, putting a protective bubble around my own heart for the day that they slip out of her world. I’m not protecting Lily, I’m protecting myself. I dread the moment that magic will end. It’s the hard part of being honest with ourselves about what Lily’s delays actually are and what that will mean for her. It’s not pity or shame, but just this light of truth that hangs there. It’s not a happy truth but also not entirely sad, just the reality of one of the changes that we’ll face as she continues to grow. While we’re not comparing her to other children, it’s impossible to watch her and not acknowledge that the gap between her and her peers is growing and will continue to grow as time moves forward. 
On the other hand, kids outgrow each other all of the time, be it through distance, interests or just age and so on some level I need to remind myself that this might happen regardless of our own unique circumstances. While I loved my childhood best friend with all of my heart, she’s now been relegated to a Facebook friend – while it’s nice to know that she’s happy, I’m not that invested in any real part of her life. But that doesn’t mean that the emotion wasn’t strong when we were young and that I’ve always carried part of it with me. And I think that’s all I can truly hope for, that when the day comes when it’s way more fun to hang out with other kids then it is to hang out with Lily, that these people will still carry her with them, that they will continue to want to be invested in her life on their own terms. I can only hope that while the differences may grow and change, that the love won’t.